Today was my 2nd ski day of the season and since my disastrous fall last Feb., and it was great! I doubled the number of runs and the time on the slopes from my first ski day in Nov. So, I may not be totally back, but I am working on it. One bum note: I need to new ski boots (mine are 14 years old). Guess my feet have grown just a little too much to wear the old ones.
Monday morning, Sir came by on his way to work, and the kisses and fondling and murmurs of love and affection were so sweet. He'll be by again in the morning, and with luck, we can get back to our routines. Thursday night -- date night!!!! Yippee!
Guess that's it for tonight. I'm pleasantly tired after the day on the slopes. Not too many distracting repetitive thoughts tonight.
Sweet dreams!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2011 -- the prime year
Hey, it's been 4.5 months (approximately) since my last blog, so i thought that i would start this up again.
So, why did I stop? I began to feel as if my only reader was expecting me to blog -- always asking if i was going to blog again. Also, he seemed to read more into my postings than i thought was there. i just didn't like the added pressure.
i'm starting again because i hope to put all of those thoughts here that keep me awake at night or distract me from anything and everything during the day. With luck, those thoughts will find a home here and stay out of my distracted little brain.
i started the new year with friends, good food, Asti, and a little spanking. Of course, the spanking led to some fondling and kissing and sighs, but i stopped it before it developed into 'hot monkey sex.' lol i'm not sure where that phrase originated, but it seems to be the favorite of a lot of people. Stopping was difficult, but i really, really want my first sex of this new and hopeful year to be with Sir. Let's hope i don't have to wait too long.
i'll post more tomorrow. Now, i'm taking the boy dog down for a quick restroom break, then i'm doing some yoga, attempting meditation, and going to bed early.
i hope everyone has a wonderful New Year, and i'll talk to you again soon.
ciao, pet
So, why did I stop? I began to feel as if my only reader was expecting me to blog -- always asking if i was going to blog again. Also, he seemed to read more into my postings than i thought was there. i just didn't like the added pressure.
i'm starting again because i hope to put all of those thoughts here that keep me awake at night or distract me from anything and everything during the day. With luck, those thoughts will find a home here and stay out of my distracted little brain.
i started the new year with friends, good food, Asti, and a little spanking. Of course, the spanking led to some fondling and kissing and sighs, but i stopped it before it developed into 'hot monkey sex.' lol i'm not sure where that phrase originated, but it seems to be the favorite of a lot of people. Stopping was difficult, but i really, really want my first sex of this new and hopeful year to be with Sir. Let's hope i don't have to wait too long.
i'll post more tomorrow. Now, i'm taking the boy dog down for a quick restroom break, then i'm doing some yoga, attempting meditation, and going to bed early.
i hope everyone has a wonderful New Year, and i'll talk to you again soon.
ciao, pet
Saturday, August 7, 2010
LIfe and many topics
Hmmm, once again it's been quite a bit of time since my last post. Things have been busy, and emotional, and now I'm trying to decide how to handle some of the recent events.
Let's start with the fun stuff. I'm in week 5 of my workout program, and I think that I'm making progress. At the beginning of July, I weighed 5 lbs more than I should (if not 10), so I knew it was time to get back to work, shoulder or no shoulder. I modify where I have to, and do the best I can. I bought a 20-visit card at the local rec center, and I'm enjoying the variety of classes and activities available. Now, if I will just get over my embarrassment at wearing a swim suit when I'm 5 lbs too heavy, I will get in the damn pool. LOL Wish me luck in maintaining this routine.
Also, I am at day 7 of no more vodka. Oh, I'm still drinking, but Hornsby's has a lot less alcohol than vodka. Also, I can only get a max of 3 down me in one evening. They are filling. I think this is a good way to get a handle on the booze.
Next, I went to Germany for the first time ever in June! The job paid since the trip was for business, and I found so many people that looked so familiar (I'm more than a half German). Above is a pic of our hotel. We were right on the North Sea, and the weather was wonderful--even the wind!
In July, I attended Thunder in the Mountains, and learned a lot. I learned about how to talk dirty, how to perform cunnilingus, and just how much I enjoy the tack paddle (again). Sir and I played on Friday night and a little on Sat. night. We attended a couple of classes together, and over all, we spent more time together over the weekend than we ever have.
The weekend after that, my pup and I went camping with a good friend in the Crested Butte area. The first time I ever skied was at CB, but I don't really remember much about the ski area or the town. As a result, I felt as if I was visiting a place I had never seen. This was this summer's first camping trip, and we had gorgeous weather. Since the pup was along, my friend didn't try to kill me! (she usually does). I'm including a pic of Charlie on the trail.
Now, let's turn our attention to other, not so pleasant topics.
When I originally started this blog, I titled it "Trying not to fall" because I thought I could post instead of drinking. Uh, that didn't work. Now, there's a new definition of the title: Trying not to fall into the deep well of tears inside of me.
This started at Thunder. I attended a "Clothing Optional" yoga class, and at the end during savasana, the instructor told us to go back to a place where you were safe and loved. I tried to remember a time where I felt safe and loved, and I couldn't. I've felt loved by so many people -- but never safe. Oh, I'm physically safe, but I have never felt emotionally safe within any relationship. Family, husband, lovers -- always, I wait for the ax to fall, the abandonment, the fading of love. And always, it's happened. I cried during savasana, and felt extremely vulnerable most of the day. I cried again in a class discussing adding intention and the universal energy to your play. Oh, and the numerous classes where the topic of how horrible cheaters are didn't help.
I'm not actually cheating, but I am enabling Sir to cheat. Have been since the beginning of our relationship. When I returned from Germany, I found out from a mutual friend that Sir and his slave are now married. I just happened to be on the phone with him at the time, so I finally heard about it. Due to legal issues, they had to declare themselves man and wife (common law) in front of a JP or whatever. He hadn't told me because he couldn't find the right time. I spent the rest of that day trying to breathe through the hole in my gut.
Since that revelation, I've vacillated between maintaining the status quo and considering how to tell him that it is over. We love each other so much, but we don't have any way to be a couple together. I can't face another evening (or whatever) watching him and her be together as a couple, which means that I am not going to any of their play parties, vanilla get-togethers, etc. I have no social life at all now. I've boycotted the local dungeon because of their treatment of Sir and her over the last few years, and I don't know of any play parties that might be going on. Guess I need to get myself back to FetLife and check out the local groups, huh.
Is it so wrong of me to want a relationship where I can hug him in front of those who know us here in the scene? Am I asking too much to have him sleep over night with me often enough that I get used to his snoring? I just want to share my life, all of my life, with my lover. It's not going to happen with Sir.
ON the other side of this dilemma, is my having a satisfying relationship with someone worth the pain I will inflict on Sir and myself by breaking up? I don't know. Everytime I think of these things, I start to cry, dipping into that well of tears sitting just below my sternum.
I've written enough for today. Come back, if you dare or care or are curious, to see how I use this blog to help me avoid falling into that well.
ciao, eur
Let's start with the fun stuff. I'm in week 5 of my workout program, and I think that I'm making progress. At the beginning of July, I weighed 5 lbs more than I should (if not 10), so I knew it was time to get back to work, shoulder or no shoulder. I modify where I have to, and do the best I can. I bought a 20-visit card at the local rec center, and I'm enjoying the variety of classes and activities available. Now, if I will just get over my embarrassment at wearing a swim suit when I'm 5 lbs too heavy, I will get in the damn pool. LOL Wish me luck in maintaining this routine.
Also, I am at day 7 of no more vodka. Oh, I'm still drinking, but Hornsby's has a lot less alcohol than vodka. Also, I can only get a max of 3 down me in one evening. They are filling. I think this is a good way to get a handle on the booze.
In July, I attended Thunder in the Mountains, and learned a lot. I learned about how to talk dirty, how to perform cunnilingus, and just how much I enjoy the tack paddle (again). Sir and I played on Friday night and a little on Sat. night. We attended a couple of classes together, and over all, we spent more time together over the weekend than we ever have.
The weekend after that, my pup and I went camping with a good friend in the Crested Butte area. The first time I ever skied was at CB, but I don't really remember much about the ski area or the town. As a result, I felt as if I was visiting a place I had never seen. This was this summer's first camping trip, and we had gorgeous weather. Since the pup was along, my friend didn't try to kill me! (she usually does). I'm including a pic of Charlie on the trail.
Now, let's turn our attention to other, not so pleasant topics.
When I originally started this blog, I titled it "Trying not to fall" because I thought I could post instead of drinking. Uh, that didn't work. Now, there's a new definition of the title: Trying not to fall into the deep well of tears inside of me.
This started at Thunder. I attended a "Clothing Optional" yoga class, and at the end during savasana, the instructor told us to go back to a place where you were safe and loved. I tried to remember a time where I felt safe and loved, and I couldn't. I've felt loved by so many people -- but never safe. Oh, I'm physically safe, but I have never felt emotionally safe within any relationship. Family, husband, lovers -- always, I wait for the ax to fall, the abandonment, the fading of love. And always, it's happened. I cried during savasana, and felt extremely vulnerable most of the day. I cried again in a class discussing adding intention and the universal energy to your play. Oh, and the numerous classes where the topic of how horrible cheaters are didn't help.
I'm not actually cheating, but I am enabling Sir to cheat. Have been since the beginning of our relationship. When I returned from Germany, I found out from a mutual friend that Sir and his slave are now married. I just happened to be on the phone with him at the time, so I finally heard about it. Due to legal issues, they had to declare themselves man and wife (common law) in front of a JP or whatever. He hadn't told me because he couldn't find the right time. I spent the rest of that day trying to breathe through the hole in my gut.
Since that revelation, I've vacillated between maintaining the status quo and considering how to tell him that it is over. We love each other so much, but we don't have any way to be a couple together. I can't face another evening (or whatever) watching him and her be together as a couple, which means that I am not going to any of their play parties, vanilla get-togethers, etc. I have no social life at all now. I've boycotted the local dungeon because of their treatment of Sir and her over the last few years, and I don't know of any play parties that might be going on. Guess I need to get myself back to FetLife and check out the local groups, huh.
Is it so wrong of me to want a relationship where I can hug him in front of those who know us here in the scene? Am I asking too much to have him sleep over night with me often enough that I get used to his snoring? I just want to share my life, all of my life, with my lover. It's not going to happen with Sir.
ON the other side of this dilemma, is my having a satisfying relationship with someone worth the pain I will inflict on Sir and myself by breaking up? I don't know. Everytime I think of these things, I start to cry, dipping into that well of tears sitting just below my sternum.
I've written enough for today. Come back, if you dare or care or are curious, to see how I use this blog to help me avoid falling into that well.
ciao, eur
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
New beginnings? Hell that never works
I ended May with a party. I should never throw parties. I drink while I'm cooking then, wham, the party has started and I can't remember it. I remember most of it, but stillll... So once again, I am taking myself to task, and my reward will be no more embarrassing moments at my own parties.
Thanks to the party, I did accomplish a number of items on the to-do list: cleaned the garage some and cleaned up the deck, including getting my little fountain going. I have lots of plants growing, and I look forward to eating all of my fresh, home-grown veggies. Can't wait for the first tomatoes.
No play last week. Sir was stressed beyond reason, and pain in my shoulder sent me home from work early. We had a nice dinner, at which my breasts were exposed [Sir's order] and available. He swears I blushed every time He looked at them. I probably did! Hopefully, this Thursday will provide kinky fodder for here. Though no one reads here, well one person does. Sir doesn't, but I think I will send him the link again. He just might read and comment.
Guess I'll put on my shoes and walk the pup. I'm playing hooky today -- feeling a bit down -- the anti-climax after several intense days of planning and preparing for the party.
Thanks to the party, I did accomplish a number of items on the to-do list: cleaned the garage some and cleaned up the deck, including getting my little fountain going. I have lots of plants growing, and I look forward to eating all of my fresh, home-grown veggies. Can't wait for the first tomatoes.
No play last week. Sir was stressed beyond reason, and pain in my shoulder sent me home from work early. We had a nice dinner, at which my breasts were exposed [Sir's order] and available. He swears I blushed every time He looked at them. I probably did! Hopefully, this Thursday will provide kinky fodder for here. Though no one reads here, well one person does. Sir doesn't, but I think I will send him the link again. He just might read and comment.
Guess I'll put on my shoes and walk the pup. I'm playing hooky today -- feeling a bit down -- the anti-climax after several intense days of planning and preparing for the party.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Return ... sorry for the long abscence
Hello Again. I know that it has been months since my last post -- almost 4 -- but life blew up for me in Feb., and it's just now getting to the point that i have something to write about (or "something about which to write" for the grammar police). ;-)
On Feb. 10, 2010, i experienced a number of firsts in a life 58-years long: i broke my arm skiing; i had the ski patrol come to help me; took a ride in their sled; had morphine; rode in an ambulance from Eldora to Lafayette; spent an afternoon in the emergency room where i was a patient! The next day, i had a metal ball surgically placed in my humerus, replacing the bones that originally created the ball for the shoulder joint. Yep, i was on serious pain meds and had my right arm in an immobilizer sling for six weeks. Life had blown up.
However, i realized how many dear friends i have during the first few days and weeks of this mess, from the ones who took care of my dog to the ones who drove up to the ski area and retrieved my car and skiing equipment. i am an extremely lucky person in my friends and my lover.
Needless to say, there was very little kink until recently due to an arm that still won't bend behind my back nor reach to touch the top of my head. But Sir was so patient with my handicap and my crying bouts when i was so exhausted and in pain.
Thank You, Sir.
Now, life has knit itself back together in a lot of ways, and as long as i continue my physical therapy exercises, it should be back to what i consider normal eventually. And the dynamic and the beatings have resumed! YIPPEE!!!
Last week, we started our morning spankings again, which i so love. When Sir takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom, i immediately start squirming inside. Despite any protestations from me about the lack of time or the neighbors hearing, He gets the leather paddle from the bedside table drawer while i pull down my pants and undies, then drape myself over His lap. hmmm, by the time the spanking is over and His thumb has sent me over the edge of orgasm, i'm calmer and ready to serve. Of course, service is out of the question in the mornings because we both must immediately rush out the door to work. But my commute is much nicer when my bottom is tingling and my nether regions are quite damp. Morning spankings just make the day so much better.
As for our date night scenes, they, too, have resumed. :-)) Last night, Sir had me lying on the bed (damn i can't wait until i can be tied with my arms over my head) for my flogging. The thud of the flails and the sting of the ends when they wrapped around to lick my breasts had me squirming and crying and panting...getting wetter and wetter, higher and higher. When i called yellow, He switched to the single tail, but this time, He used the entire whip on my back with only the occasional flick of the cracker to make me gasp. That went on until i called red (or yellow or something), and He switched one more time.
While i panted and tried to catch my breath, Sir walked over to the toy bag to pull out something i didn't see. He sat next to me on the bed and started paddling me with a small paddle -- tacks on one side and smooth on the other. For the first time ever in our love affair, Sir drew blood. He used the tack side with enough force to push those tacks into my bottom. According to Sir, my bottom looks like i have measles -- little red spots all over it. He used his t-shirt and arm to wipe the blood from my bum. i definitely found the spacey place subs always want to reach. i felt good! better than good!
Thanks again, my Sir.
That's enough for today. My deck garden is calling; i need to do my pt exercises; my dog wants to go for a walk. Have a wonderful Friday, and i'll see you here again soon.
On Feb. 10, 2010, i experienced a number of firsts in a life 58-years long: i broke my arm skiing; i had the ski patrol come to help me; took a ride in their sled; had morphine; rode in an ambulance from Eldora to Lafayette; spent an afternoon in the emergency room where i was a patient! The next day, i had a metal ball surgically placed in my humerus, replacing the bones that originally created the ball for the shoulder joint. Yep, i was on serious pain meds and had my right arm in an immobilizer sling for six weeks. Life had blown up.
However, i realized how many dear friends i have during the first few days and weeks of this mess, from the ones who took care of my dog to the ones who drove up to the ski area and retrieved my car and skiing equipment. i am an extremely lucky person in my friends and my lover.
Needless to say, there was very little kink until recently due to an arm that still won't bend behind my back nor reach to touch the top of my head. But Sir was so patient with my handicap and my crying bouts when i was so exhausted and in pain.
Thank You, Sir.
Now, life has knit itself back together in a lot of ways, and as long as i continue my physical therapy exercises, it should be back to what i consider normal eventually. And the dynamic and the beatings have resumed! YIPPEE!!!
Last week, we started our morning spankings again, which i so love. When Sir takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom, i immediately start squirming inside. Despite any protestations from me about the lack of time or the neighbors hearing, He gets the leather paddle from the bedside table drawer while i pull down my pants and undies, then drape myself over His lap. hmmm, by the time the spanking is over and His thumb has sent me over the edge of orgasm, i'm calmer and ready to serve. Of course, service is out of the question in the mornings because we both must immediately rush out the door to work. But my commute is much nicer when my bottom is tingling and my nether regions are quite damp. Morning spankings just make the day so much better.
As for our date night scenes, they, too, have resumed. :-)) Last night, Sir had me lying on the bed (damn i can't wait until i can be tied with my arms over my head) for my flogging. The thud of the flails and the sting of the ends when they wrapped around to lick my breasts had me squirming and crying and panting...getting wetter and wetter, higher and higher. When i called yellow, He switched to the single tail, but this time, He used the entire whip on my back with only the occasional flick of the cracker to make me gasp. That went on until i called red (or yellow or something), and He switched one more time.
While i panted and tried to catch my breath, Sir walked over to the toy bag to pull out something i didn't see. He sat next to me on the bed and started paddling me with a small paddle -- tacks on one side and smooth on the other. For the first time ever in our love affair, Sir drew blood. He used the tack side with enough force to push those tacks into my bottom. According to Sir, my bottom looks like i have measles -- little red spots all over it. He used his t-shirt and arm to wipe the blood from my bum. i definitely found the spacey place subs always want to reach. i felt good! better than good!
Thanks again, my Sir.
That's enough for today. My deck garden is calling; i need to do my pt exercises; my dog wants to go for a walk. Have a wonderful Friday, and i'll see you here again soon.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Play and the daily grind
Hmm, it's been 2 weeks since the last post, but that doesn't mean i haven't been thinking about posting. i think about it a lot! :-)
Shall we start with the play nights? Thursday the 14th was definitely intense. Sir started with the big red wooden paddle (i hate that paddle), alternating between the smooth, cold, unforgiving side and switching to the fur covered side just to give me a chance to breathe. He didn't tie or gag me, so i had to hold still. Boy, did i leave teeth marks in the sheets and bed covers! Not to mention the wrinkles left from my griping hands. We progressed through several toys, ending with the single tail, but by then, i just couldn't handle much more than 5 (or was it 10?) flicks of the stinging little viper. Oh, i also remember sex in there! Yep, we definitely did that. After the sex, He told me to put my hands under my bum and hold still. i knew this wasn't going to be good. Three hard strikes of the cane across my thighs and i was in tears. i'm still bruised. Seems my quads will mark and bruise, but not my bum. Very frustrating, when you consider how much punishment my poor bottom gets.
Thursday the 21st was easier on the old bod. He used the ping pong paddle on my boobies, the little strap on my bottom, and then He was so high i decided we needed food. We watched some TV and had dinner, then we retired to the bedroom to sleep. He had such a long day.
This Thursday i'm going to see my ex play at a club nearby (30 min away). He won't have time for dinner (they are driving all day from TX and playing three sets!), but we can at least say hello. i will probably stay for 1 set then head home. i hope to be on the slopes Friday morning!
Hmm, vanilla stuff has been exciting! i have a new netbook -- it's soo cute and practical. lol i'm also getting a new phone and a new carrier. After 7 years with the same carrier, i am changing. V has cut back on some of its benefits to the point i might as well go with a cheaper plan. C has an offer that i couldn't refuse, and so, i'm switching.
Oh, hypothermia is not a good thing. i think i avoided actual hypothermia, but i came damn close on Sat. Too many hours standing on the side of a mountain verifying that the racers made it through 4 out of 34 gates. The volunteer lead almost sent me to the ski patrol for medical treatment. i spent Sat. night under the covers, trying to stay warm. The good thing? The ski area received 5" of much needed snow! lol
Guess that's all for tonight. i will try to post more often (now that the drinking is less, the productivity should be up).
ciao!
Shall we start with the play nights? Thursday the 14th was definitely intense. Sir started with the big red wooden paddle (i hate that paddle), alternating between the smooth, cold, unforgiving side and switching to the fur covered side just to give me a chance to breathe. He didn't tie or gag me, so i had to hold still. Boy, did i leave teeth marks in the sheets and bed covers! Not to mention the wrinkles left from my griping hands. We progressed through several toys, ending with the single tail, but by then, i just couldn't handle much more than 5 (or was it 10?) flicks of the stinging little viper. Oh, i also remember sex in there! Yep, we definitely did that. After the sex, He told me to put my hands under my bum and hold still. i knew this wasn't going to be good. Three hard strikes of the cane across my thighs and i was in tears. i'm still bruised. Seems my quads will mark and bruise, but not my bum. Very frustrating, when you consider how much punishment my poor bottom gets.
Thursday the 21st was easier on the old bod. He used the ping pong paddle on my boobies, the little strap on my bottom, and then He was so high i decided we needed food. We watched some TV and had dinner, then we retired to the bedroom to sleep. He had such a long day.
This Thursday i'm going to see my ex play at a club nearby (30 min away). He won't have time for dinner (they are driving all day from TX and playing three sets!), but we can at least say hello. i will probably stay for 1 set then head home. i hope to be on the slopes Friday morning!
Hmm, vanilla stuff has been exciting! i have a new netbook -- it's soo cute and practical. lol i'm also getting a new phone and a new carrier. After 7 years with the same carrier, i am changing. V has cut back on some of its benefits to the point i might as well go with a cheaper plan. C has an offer that i couldn't refuse, and so, i'm switching.
Oh, hypothermia is not a good thing. i think i avoided actual hypothermia, but i came damn close on Sat. Too many hours standing on the side of a mountain verifying that the racers made it through 4 out of 34 gates. The volunteer lead almost sent me to the ski patrol for medical treatment. i spent Sat. night under the covers, trying to stay warm. The good thing? The ski area received 5" of much needed snow! lol
Guess that's all for tonight. i will try to post more often (now that the drinking is less, the productivity should be up).
ciao!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Resolutions or Commitments? Who knows?
Sir and i decided that He would punish me if i drank more than 2 drinks per night. Needless to say, i received my first punishment on the 5th. However, i began thinking about this entire concept, and it just didn't feel right. So, i've decided that i am accountable only to myself for my drinking, and Sir will just have to find other reasons to use His belt on my ass. No problem there -- He can create any rule He wants with the punishment being a nice beating with His belt.
This last Thursday night was a nice 'nilla night. Sorta anyway. He just didn't really feel like playing. We had a tasty Asian dinner and watched Iron Chef America Super Battle. After dinner, we retired to the bedroom. i know that you, dear reader, can fill in the blanks! [sly little grin]
Tomorrow morning, i am plugging in my AeroGarden (Christmas present from my dearest friend (almost 30 years!)) i'm growing basil, parsley, and oregano! Yippee. Fresh herbs in the middle of the winter.
A very strange thing happened today. My ex-husband found my Facebook profile and contacted me. After more than 20 years, i am in contact with the first love of my life. It's all a little scary, all very interesting, all definitely strange. He's actually going to be in a town close by at the end of the month, and i might even drive up to have dinner. Definitely, an unusual moment in my life. FYI, he is also the first Dom in my life; although, we didn't know the term at the time. The early 80's weren't full of kink websites! lol But we did enjoy our kinky side!
Here is a thought. C was my first and only husband. i decided after our marriage blew apart that i didn't need to be married again. Been there, done that, have the T-Shirt. On the other hand, he's remarried more than once. i wonder how we both approached relationships so differently. i think that despite my relationship handicap, i am actually pretty stable (or at least more self-aware).
Tonight, i gave away all of my Pampered Chef stuff. i'm done; i can't make it work; i'm tired of feeling inept. i am no longer a PC consultant. i feel much better.
i guess that's it for tonight. Lots of dirty dishes are waiting; Sir will be here in the morning (eventhough it's a Tuesday); i need to think about some sleep.
Have a great week.
ciao
This last Thursday night was a nice 'nilla night. Sorta anyway. He just didn't really feel like playing. We had a tasty Asian dinner and watched Iron Chef America Super Battle. After dinner, we retired to the bedroom. i know that you, dear reader, can fill in the blanks! [sly little grin]
Tomorrow morning, i am plugging in my AeroGarden (Christmas present from my dearest friend (almost 30 years!)) i'm growing basil, parsley, and oregano! Yippee. Fresh herbs in the middle of the winter.
A very strange thing happened today. My ex-husband found my Facebook profile and contacted me. After more than 20 years, i am in contact with the first love of my life. It's all a little scary, all very interesting, all definitely strange. He's actually going to be in a town close by at the end of the month, and i might even drive up to have dinner. Definitely, an unusual moment in my life. FYI, he is also the first Dom in my life; although, we didn't know the term at the time. The early 80's weren't full of kink websites! lol But we did enjoy our kinky side!
Here is a thought. C was my first and only husband. i decided after our marriage blew apart that i didn't need to be married again. Been there, done that, have the T-Shirt. On the other hand, he's remarried more than once. i wonder how we both approached relationships so differently. i think that despite my relationship handicap, i am actually pretty stable (or at least more self-aware).
Tonight, i gave away all of my Pampered Chef stuff. i'm done; i can't make it work; i'm tired of feeling inept. i am no longer a PC consultant. i feel much better.
i guess that's it for tonight. Lots of dirty dishes are waiting; Sir will be here in the morning (eventhough it's a Tuesday); i need to think about some sleep.
Have a great week.
ciao
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)